Apologies Are Often Open Ended
by demi smiles
Summary: Dani's confidence hides her struggles until a moment strikes where Santana feels the need to try and save her. Tumblr: shehadaworldof-chances
1. Chapter 1

Santana made her way through the busy Manhattan sidewalks, the rain sloshing along the pathway, sopping her socks through her boots as she sheltered her head with her grey jacket. She cursed silently at herself for her lack of an umbrella as she darted towards the Spotlight Diner at midnight, avoiding traversing couples drunk on love and white wine. As she headed toward the graveyard shift she had been subjected to, Santana tripped over a puddle and bumped into a short blonde right in front of the diner.

"Shit! Sorry!" she exclaimed, averting her eyes from the girl's face.

The blonde laughed heartily, somewhat of a judgemental smirk on her face. "Don't worry about it. You going in?"

Santana hesitated. "Y-yea—" she stumbled, before she was cut off by the girl across from her.

The blonde had already opened the door for her and was inside, safe from the rain as she peeled off her jacket. "Your uniform," she stated blankly towards Santana's confused look. "I take it we're the two on the graveyard together?"

The darker girl nodded, her eyes wide. "Yup," she mumbled, caught off-guard and somewhat delighted by the girl's matching uniform.

"You're skitzy, aren't you?" the blonde said, eyeing Santana carefully.

Santana bit her lip and looked down uncharacteristically, feeling nervous by the closeness of the other girl.

"It's cute," she replied to Santana's lack of words. "I'm Dani. Dani Harper. Gunther transferred me over here from the evening shift." She rolled her eyes. "_Fucking _great."

Santana giggled a tiny bit, put off by Dani's sudden welcomeness and loosness before she was jerked out of her thoughts.

"You have a name?"

The taller girl perked up quickly, feeling her hands sweat as she observed Dani's tell-all eyes. "Oh! Right! I'm Santana Lopez. I've worked this shift for a while now…You get used to it?"

Dani sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Right," she mumured. "Well, then how about we get to these sugar caddies?"

Santana relaxed some as the pair fell into a familiar routine of Dani grabbing the caddies and Santana dumping the full bag into the funnel as the sugar tunneled into the containers. "So, how'd you end up here?"

"Oh," Dani replied casually, shrugging, "My parents caught me making out with a girl in the basement and all hell broke loose, to say the least. So I grabbed my guitar and never looked back."

Santana was surprised by the openess of the shorter girl and smiled what seemed like too widely. _Fuck, she's hot, _crossed her mind once before she opened her mouth. "Sucks," she replied shortly.

Dani furrowed her brow. "Sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out, but I mean, I am gay."

Santana chuckled. "My grandma reacted the same way. I kinda get you."

"No shit!" Dani raised her eyebrows in exclamation, butterflies lighting up her stomach.

"Yup," Santana pursed her lips, blushing as she averted her glance from Dani. "I had a girlfriend, Brittany, back in cow-town Ohio where I'm from."

Dani narrowed her eyes in a desire for Santana to expand. "Oh?"

"Y'know the bisexual best friend who you casually fuck and then fall in love with?"

The blonde nodded understandingly, now returning the sugar caddies to their designated tables. "Been there, done that. Without the casual fucking, though. Just fell in love with my straight best friend."

"Mmmm." Santana cracked a half-smile. "Can't help you there, sorry."

Dani snorted half-heartedly. "Yeah," she smirked, plastering her face into a more positive look. "You asked me about my story. What's yours?"

Santana hesitated, her hands shaking in her lap. _Damn under-boob sweat, _she cursed silently, trying to smile at Dani. "Cheerleading scholarship to the every-so-esteemed 'University of Louisville'," she said dramatically, using the name of her former school as a pejorative.

"And?" Dani pressed on, unwilling to relent.

"The long-distance thing wasn't working so I broke up with Brittany, realized Kentucky wasn't working for the flaming homosexual that I am, and moved to New York because I knew people here."

"Ah." Dani replied shortly, now gathering the empty napkin holders from certain tables. "Grab that thing of napkins, will you?" she said, gesturing to the plastic bag with her head. As she set the holders down, she continued. "Is there anybody ever here from midnight to six in the morning?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Nope. Except for the occasional drunk guy trying to sing 'Poker Face' and playing his own penis very well as accompaniment."

"Shit," Dani answered, disgust crossing her face.

"You wish I was making it up."

"You're right. I do. Look how well you already know me!" Dani teased, a smirk filling up her eyes.

Santana slapped the blonde with a napkin. "Shut up!"

After that, the two fell into a comfortable silence filled with the cadence of the knock of empty napkin tins and the wave of a sheaf of napkins entering their temporary home. Dani looked occasionally at Santana, hoping not to meet the girl's eyes as she admired her seemingly exquisite features. Santana would clear her throat ever-so-often, returning the favor to Dani before getting up to return the napkin dispensers and retrieve the empty mustard bottles. As she walked, she heard a gentle, quiet voice behind her.

_"So you wanna play with magic? Boy, you should know what you're falli—"_

As Santana turned around, Dani looked down and blushed. "You sing?"

Dani swept her eyes around the room, reaching every point except for Santana. "No, um, not really, I just um, occasionally as a time-killer, but, um,"

The brunette smiled at Dani's sudden change in confidence. "You're good."

"Thanks, um, than—"

"Shhh," Santana advised, placing her finger to the other girl's lips before gracing her face with a smile. "I sing too. I was in a glee club in Ohio. We won Nationals one year," she stated, bragging slightly.

Dani's mouth dropped. "Shit, wow. That's impressive."

Santana shrugged non-commitally, "Yeah, I guess. I mean, we had a girl – the one I live with – who's on Broadway practicing to be Fanny Brice now, so she kind of car—"

"Rachel?" Dani exclaimed, louder than she meant to.

Santana narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, how do you, um…"

"She worked the evening shift with me. Her and Kurt. They're you're roomates."

Santana sucked her cheeks in. "Yup."

Dani laughed a tiny bit. "No shit! Both of them are a piece of work."

"You could say that."

Dani settled herself more properly at the bar, and before she put her chin between her hands, she smoothed down her skirt, clearing a strand of hair that had fallen down. She smirked, "I'd like to hear some stories about that."

Santana grinned. "Well, there was this one time, Kurt was showering, and Skype went off." She rolled her eyes. "It was his _boyfriend. _From Ohio. Rachel called him into the room and Kurt told him to bring it in the bathroom." Santana covered her mouth. "There were all sorts of, y'know, _sounds, _coming from their. Kurt says it wasn't video sex. My ass."

Dani's head rolled back in silent laughter. "That must've been great."

Santana grimaced. "I needed earplugs. And I did the next time too."

The blonde grinned widely, lighting up her entire face.

"You—you're cute," Santana stammered, and then flushed due to her newfound confidence around the girl. Her eyes went wide as she quickly apologized for the sudden outburst.

Dani smiled even bigger. "Why are you apologizing? You being embarassed is cute." She paused. "Almost as cute as me," she replied, tossing her hair in a casual flaunting manner. "C'mon, these mustard bottles aren't going to fill themselves."

Santana cleared her throat, still visibly shaking from what she had just said to the shorter girl. "Right, right, that's what we need to do."

"Damn straight," Dani grinned, causing Santana to twist her fingers tightly together.

The two girls talked more as they filled the mustard bottles, moving on to ketchup, salt, and pepper and they aquainted themselves with each other. Every time Dani smiled, Santana looked her way, brushing her dark hair out of her face. The blonde quickly noticed, biting her lip each time Santana did so. Before long, after they had fallen into another comfortable silence, Dani humming occasionally, with still no customer to serve, the sun began peeking over the downtown Brooklyn skyline from the East.

"Oh!" Dani exclaimed, walking towards the stage for a better view. "The sunrise is my favourite part of the day – I knew there had to be _some _plus to working at this un-godly hour."

Santana frowned, furrowing her brow. She supposed she couldn't exactly be seen as a "plus" at this point. "Yeah," she said, beginning to smile as Dani's eyes were flecked by the sun, "it's certainly nice."

Dani giggled and grabbed Santana's hands, twirling them in circles as she began to hum The Beatles. Santana broke into a gentle harmony as the two danced around the restaurant.

"I'm really glad we're on this shift together," Dani whispered into Santana's ear, causing the brunette to blush.

"Me too."


	2. Chapter 2

Still smiling from her small encounter with Dani during the sunrise, Santana walked home in the golden morning light, shading her eyes from the sharp rays of the still-rising sun. She traipsed down the sidewalk, an uncharacteristic spring in her step as she approached the subway station to return home, rolling up the sleeves of her cardigan. She took her MetroCard out of her pocket while she approached the Orange Line and slid the card through the machine, thinking of how perfectly Dani's hands had fit in hers while they were spinning. The entire way home, she sat on the subway and thought of Dani, of the blonde's smile and the way it lit up her eyes, before mentally slapping herself for getting attached to a girl she had met just hours ago.

Not far from the shared loft, Dani pulled her hair down, allowing the blonde locks to frame her face perfectly. Her face was pensieve, except for her eyes that lit up when she saw a packet of sugar on the table. _What a weird thing to associate a person with, _she thought as she reached into the cupboard for an apple.

As she peeled off the sticker and ran the apple under the sink, Dani mentally calculated her nutrition that would count as breakfast. _116 calories, not much of anything else except for natural sugar…_ She ran her hands over the skin, digging her nails into it to form small half-moon in the exterior of the apple. As she sat down on her bed, she chewed slowly as if that would somehow lessen the apple's effect.

Dani knew that she had to have food to live – she wasn't suicidal, after all, she was just…overweight. She saw people like Santana and was flirty with her and confident because that was who she was – the loud, Texas girl. But she had been brought up on Tex-Mex and Barbeque and fatty meats that didn't seem relevant to living a healthy lifestyle.

She felt her skin crawl as she made her way down to the apple's core, her chews methodical and tense. Once it seemed like there was no more meat left, she walked and threw the apple away, ready to shower before her daytime sleep.

Santana's subway stop was a mere three blocks from the diner, making transportation easy, but it suddenly became less so when she spotted the short blonde girl ascending up the stairs in front of her.

"Dani?" she called out, over the busy Manhattan noise. "Dani?"

Dani turned around, her lips pursed. "Oh! Santana!" she replied cheerfully, her stomach still full from the apple she'd eaten several hours prior. "Do you take the Orange Line, too?"

"Yeah, um, up from Washington Heights. You?"

Dani hesitated. "I live in the South Bronx. Maybe you'll see the compartment I'm on and we can ride together from there? After all, Manhattan around midnight isn't exactly world-renowned for its safe transportation."

Santana sucked her breath in, butterflies filling her stomach. "Yeah, yeah, that'd be good."

The two girls then walked the three blocks to the Spotlight in an awkward silence, the tension between them heated and evident. Santana then opened the door for Dani and then cleared her throat.

"I didn't eat before I came, and if nobody's in here, which of course, there won't be, I was going to make some pancakes. I make them pretty awesome. You want some?"

Dani gritted her teeth into a smile. "Sounds good, but I literally _just _ate, so I'm pretty full. Thanks for the offer though."

"Sure."

As Santana settled down into the kitchen, the frying pan bubbling, Dani sat beside her in the kitchen, filling sugar caddies and holding her stomach to keep herself from being naseous from the smell. "So you never told me where you're from," she proposed awkwardly.

"Nice icebreaker," Santana countered, her sarcasm full of a cheerful edge. "But anyways, I'm from cow-town Lima, Ohio. It's fucking great over there. The Amish live there and I'm pretty sure the cows outnumber the people by a pretty hefty ratio."

Dani laughed, and Santana noticed how beautifully her eyes shone when she did so.

"I'm going to shoot the question right back at you."

"I'm from Texas. Groves, to be exact. It's near Port Arthur if you know where that is." Santana shook her head. "Well, then just think farther up the coast than Houston. Fucking sucked."

Santana smirked. "I thought you had a bit of an accent."

Dani light-heartedly smacked the girl by the stove. "Shut up! If you don't say ya'll, you're denying it."

"Except I really don't."

"I promise you do. And one day, I'm going to catch you on it."

Santana bit her lip. "Good luck. First let's see if we get more than one person in here."

Dani eyed her. "Who said it had to be here."

The taller girl sucked her breath in, caught off-guard by Dani's proposal.

"Oh!" she cried, and the embarrasedly covered her mouth, and then accidentally burned her hand on the skillet. "Shit!"

"Shit!" Dani exclaimed quickly, and with a quick instinct, she ran over to the darker girl and grabbed her hand. "Are you okay? Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Dani, it's fine. Can you just grab, like a wet rag, or something."

Dani hovered nervously around the kitchen before rushing over to the sink. "Yeah, yeah, um," she stuttered before she ran a rag from the interior of the sink under the faucet. She then wrung it out before bringing it over to Santana and wrapped it around her hand, applying slight pressure. "You can, um, keep that going, and I'll go grab the first aid kit so you can get a band-aid, and like some Neosporin or something."

The blonded darted off down a hallway to the supply closet, sweating as she realized that there was a very strong possibility that she liked this girl. A gay girl. That was…new. She had found herself always falling in love with straight girls – no bi or gay ones even though her gaydar was finely tuned. But she put her personal thoughts aside for a moment and allowed herself to focus on grabbing the med kit for Santana.

As Dani reappeared from the hallway with the first aid kit, Santana dropped the wet rag to the floor and grabbed her hand.

"No, honey," Dani said, surprising herself with the quiet term of endearment. She felt Santana tense up, and then felt the need to apologize, doing so under her breath. "Don't touch it. You don't want anymore germs or oil in there."

"Are you implying that my skin is oily?" Santana retorted, still dumbstruck by what Dani had called her just seconds ago.

"Never. It's just a fact of life. Now hold still."

Dani bent down and looked Santana in the eye as she dabbed the Neosporin on the girl's hand before covering it with a Band-Aid.

"Th—thank you," stuttered, ghosting her fingertips over where Dani's had been just the minute before. "Now are you sure you don't want to share these pancakes with me."

Suddenly, Dani felt an overwhelming urge to please the girl. She could always throw it up later. "Um, sure," she said, hesitating ever-so-slightly at the surprise of her own words.

Santana smiled and with her good hand, she slid one of the pancakes onto a plate with a spatula, and then handed it over to Dani, seeing the girl trying to smile, but noticed when it didn't reach her eyes this time.

Dani grabbed a fork from the still-needing-to-be-unloaded dishwasher and cut carefully into the pancake, her eyes scanning it cautiously.

"You want syrup?"

Dani fidgeted as the question caught her off-guard. "I'm fine!" she blurted out messily. "I mean – I've never liked it. But thanks."

Santana shrugged. "Okay," she responded before putting a pancake on her own plate.

After both of the girls had cut a small slice off of each of their food, Santana held up her fork. "Cheers, Dani."

Dani tried to smile. "Cheers, Santana."

She made it through the first half of the pancake okay. Her casual conversation was enough to keep her mind off of all of the calories she was inducting slowly into her body. Soon enough, Santana had finished her pancake and was clearing off her plate.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Dani announced, as she began to scrape her plate.

"Are you okay? You didn't eat the whole thing."

Dani bit into a smile. "Fine. Fine. Like I said, I ate earlier," she concluded before heading down the hallway.

"Right."

Dani made her way slowly into the bathroom, making sure that Santana wasn't following her before she stepped into the stall furthest from the door, making sure to lock it behind her. Feeling disgusted, she rolled up her diner shirt and pinched her stomach, her eyes tearing up at the dissatisfaction from the slightest amount of fat sticking out from it. As she let one tear fall, she bent over, lifting the toilet seat. She stuck her fingers down her throat and emptied her stomach as she tried to keep the gagging sounds to the minimum.

Dani swore at the bitter taste in her mouth before flushing the excrement down the toilet, and went to wash her hands, smoothing off the slightly-smeared eyeliner from her face.

She re-entered the kitchen to be approached by a radiant Santana.

"You good?" the girl asked.

Suddenly, Dani felt good. "Yes."


	3. Chapter 3

After several nights of awkward encounters at the diner and vulnerable moments when Dani had felt ready to spill her guts out to Santana, it was approaching their week-long anniversary of working the graveyard shift together. Dani hadn't found Santana once on the Orange Line, but that was to be expected, given the length of each train. It was odd. She felt…safe around the girl, perhaps uncharacteristically so given her pre-disposition to assume that people hated her.

Dani had decided that this particular fault in her was intrinsic and that there was nothing she could do about, but as she got to know Santana better and as they helped each other around the diner making small talk, she began to feel as if this quality wasn't so inherent. Granted, she had only eaten a piece of fruit a day since the pancake fiasco the night before, so as she walked towards the Subway platform, she had a moment of self-confidence.

Sure, her period had disappeared – it hadn't been there for about three months – but if anything, Dani rejoiced in the missing enemy. After all, she knew she wasn't pregnant given her genetic dislike for anything penis-like. Dani didn't have time to worry about things like this. She had been pre-occupied with thoughts of Santana so much that, to her likes, she sometimes even forgot to eat. In Dani's mind, Santana was _helping _her.

Santana was flipping non-chalantly through a fashion magazine, focused more on the girls than the outfits, as she waiting for the Orange Line train to show up at the Washington Heights stop. She hadn't seen Dani on the train yet, but they often ran into each other getting off. As lights filled the tunnel with a screech, Santana put down the magazine, leaving her thumb as a placeholder. She then realized she was standing in front of the center compartment, and that Dani was right inside, quietly mouthing lyrics to whatever was on her iPod. Her hair blew in the rough stop of the train, and all Santana could think of was how beautiful she looked in that quick moment.

Santana boarded the train, purposefully sitting across from Dani and opening her magazine to act as if she had not seen the girl.

Though her eyes had closed, Dani quickly sensed the girl's presence and opened her eyes. "Santana?"

Confident to act careless, Santana pretended not to hear her.

"Hey! Santana!"

Finally, Santana looked up, a blank look of surprise gracing her face. "Oh! Hey, Dani! I guess we finally ran into each other, huh?"

Dani nodded, one ear bud dangling out of her ear. "Come sit by me," she said, patting the empty seat next to her.

Santana blushed. "Oh, um, okay."

Feeling high on her stomach, Dani smiled at the girl. "You're cute when you're embarrassed. Something tells me you usually refuse to let that happen to you."

Santana bit her lip. "Damn, you know me well already. I used to be the head bitch – captain of the cheer squad and everything."

"No shit!" Dani exclaimed, her eyes widening. "Cow-town Ohio had a lesbian cheer captain?"

Santana hesitated. "Kind of. I wasn't out until I was kind of forced out of the closet by the captain of the football team – also in glee club, coincidentally."

"Oh?" Dani pursed her lips, now openly showing her interest.

Santana took a watery breath.

"Sorry, hon, did I say something wrong?"

The darker girl shook her head. "No, no, you didn't know. He died, like, two months ago. Hit by a cocaine influenced driver. He fucked me over, but, y'know, it was a shock?"

Dani nodded, tentatively putting an arm over her as the Subway rattled to a stop at the next station.

Santana's eyes widened and she dared to look Dani in the eye. "It's a long story, so, um…"

"Shhh…Don't say anything you don't want to."

On a sudden whim, Santana grabbed the Dani's hand that rested on her shoulder. "Thank you," she said before letting out a small laugh. "I fucked him once, if you can believe that. My sophomore year."

Dani's mouth dropped as her eyes brightened. "You fucked guys, Miss Lima Lesbian?"

Santana grimaced and nodded. "Damn, do I regret it. Never even knew what a proper orgasm was until, like, a year and a half ago."

Dani popped her lips cheerfully and nodded, but then removed her arm and placed both of her hands reservedly in her lap.

"So does the rest of Groves know that you're the signature small-town Texas gay girl?"

Dani let some air out of a breath she was holding as she tried not to laugh. "Ha," she said coldly. "I haven't even heard from my parents since I got out of that hell-hole. They're probably telling everybody I went to college early because I was such a 'bright sunflower'," she said sarcastically, the sarcasm not reaching her eyes.

Santana grabbed a hand out of her lap. "I'm sorry."

"No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"I mean, no, don't hold my hand," Dani said, her body tensing at the contact.

Santana furrowed her brow and tried to keep her hard-edged exterior from appearing as hurt as she was from the blonde's rejection. "What? What the hell are you talking about?"

Dani sighed loudly. "I'm sorry. I really like you, Santana. I do. But you don't want me. I'm a fucking mess."

"No, you're not."

Dani changed her body language so her back was almost to Santana. "Yes, I am. Can this be done?"

Santana opened her mouth, unsure of what to say, but settled on opening her magazine so they could ride together until the diner, back-to-back in an awkward silence.

Gunther was still there when the two girls arrived at the Spotlight, something that both Santana and Dani were silently thankful for, so they could put off uncomfortably interacting for at least a small amount of time.

"Hey, girls," he said, "I was just getting ready for you two. I'll be out of your hair in just a few minutes," he said, winking.

Santana was the only one to talk. "Right, okay, see you later, Gunther."

The man shuffled around the diner for a few second more before bidding the two girls a good-bye, the creak of the door closing behind him lasting what seemed like an eon.

"I'm going to go fill the sugar caddies," Dani announced as she began shifting from table to table.

"Dani, wait."

The shorter girl turned around, a positively hostile look capturing her eyes. "What, Santana?"

Santana's forehead creased. "I'm sorry. I just don't know what I did. Whatever it is that's bothering you, you know you can let me in, right? I mean we spend eight hours alone each night. I just…don't want you hurting without me knowing."

Dani gritted her teeth while twirling a strand of hair in her fingers to try and look more charming. "I'm fine, Santana. I just got out of a bad relationship is all."

"Ah," Santana nodded understandingly at the lie. "I'm sorry; you can talk to me, though. Even though we've only been working together for a week, you can trust me."

Shoving Sweet 'n' Lows into a sugar caddy, Dani nodded slowly, refusing to make eye contact. She needed a release. Now. It was bad enough that she was feeling bad about herself, but now she was making Santana feel bad too. That merited some kind of release. She saw Santana prancing about the diner, tucking mustard bottles under her arm, and she felt sick at how satisfied the girl was with her lie.

Dani entered the kitchen and grabbed one of the smaller serrated knives from the knife block and stuck it into the waistband of her skirt, its cold handle pressing against her as she felt the warmth of the tip cut into her. "I'm just going to run to the bathroom," she informed Santana, before walking down the hallway.

"Okay."

As she entered the bathroom, Dani walked immediately into the furthest stall, and sat down on the toilet before lifting her shirt and creating a small incision in her waistline, almost immediately sighing out in relief. She knew that she had to work fast if she didn't want Santana to come looking for her, so she cut twice more, feeling ghosts exiting her body before she pressed toilet paper against the cuts, waiting for them to clot.

Unaware of what to do with the knife – Dani knew she couldn't risk Santana being in the kitchen – she opened the toilet tank and stuck it in, watching the knife submerge itself in the water.

"Dani?" she heard the darker girl's voice calling her.

_Shit. _"Yeah?"

"Whenever you're done, I'm going to need help with the ketchup."

The blonde breathed out a sigh of relief, feeling her cuts bend under the expansion. She exited the stall and turned on the sink to make it sound like she was washing her hands. "Okay, no problem. I'll be right out." As soon as she dried her hands, Dani exited the bathroom and plastered a smile onto her face for Santana's benefit.

"You okay? You were in there for a while."

Dani flushed. "Oh yeah, just…ate a big 'breakfast'. It happens."

Santana accepted the answer but still narrowed her eyes at the girl. "I could've sworn I heard your stomach rumbling on the subway."

Dani shrugged. "That's odd. I'm not hungry." And truth be told, she wasn't. She found it hard to lie to Santana as the brunette kept trying to break down her walls, but she knew it was necessary. She forced a smile. "I'm fine. Let's go fill up those ketchup bottles."


	4. Chapter 4

After Dani's awkward confrontation with Santana, the two filled the diner with an awkward silence, the only sounds Dani clearing her throat, the shuffle of salt and pepper shakers down the counter, and Santana asking Dani to retrieve the shakers from tables eight through twelve. It was soon four in the morning and the pair had gone a full three hours without so much as a mumble. Dani had been fighting the urge to return to the bathroom and slice into her skin and Santana kept looking at the blonde, averting her eyes whenever she felt the lingering became too long.

"I don't get you," Santana declared suddenly, after the last of the sugar caddies had been filled.

The break in the silence took Dani by surprise and she jumped in the bar stool. "Wh-what do you mean?"

Santana sighed and eyed Dani carefully, unaware that she was about to tread on a sore spot. "It's just…um…how do I put this?" She paused and bit her lip. "Why do you lead me on? And then push me away? Like nothing ever happened, and I just…"

Dani hesitated. "Santana, I – "

The dark-headed girl shook her head vehemently. "Let me finish." She cleared her throat and smoothed down her skirt before moving her hand, which she knew was a risk, to Dani's shoulder, to which Dani flinched, but didn't push her away. "You invite me to sit with you on the subway. You put your arm around me. You comforted me when I was sad…about Finn…and then I try to make the move. And you reject me like I'm spoiled food. I just…I don't understand."

Dani shook her head, tears prickling against the back of her eyes. She was confident. She had to be. That was who she had shown Santana she was. She opened her mouth, only to close it again after re-thinking her words.

"Dani, say something? Please?"

Finally, the shorter girl reached up and moved Santana's slowly off her shoulder. "I do that because that's just me, Santana," she responded, swallowing thickly and biting her lip at the lie. "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now. I've got a lot of baggage."

"We've all got baggage," Santana said gently.

Dani looked up, her eyes glossy but her face fuming in red. "Just don't, Santana! Can't you just believe me? I just make moves on people. Even straight girls. Even gay guys. It doesn't mean shit!"

Santana gritted her teeth her mouth froze into a frown. She twisted her fingers in her hand. "Okay. Fine."

The girls when back into silence.

The sun rose, and still not one customer or icebreaker had entered the diner. Gunther pranced through the door at daybreak. "Looking fabulous, ladies! Thank you, as always!"

Dani smiled widely and thanked him in a flirtatious manner, and Santana stared stonily at the ground, wanting nothing more than to go down to the subway and get on a different car than Dani, just to prove a point to the blonde. As the two walked down to the Orange Line together, Santana couldn't help but take note of Dani's sweating, clammy palms and pale face.

Taking a risk, she opened her mouth. "You okay? You look like shit, and you looked fine when we left."

"Gee, thanks, Santana," Dani shot back sarcastically. She plastered a fake smile on her face. "You look like shit, too!" she exclaimed, her eyes empty and suddenly bloodshot.

The pair began descending into the subway station and as they reached the platform, Santana observed Dani shaking and began to dig a water bottle out of her purse to offer the girl as she heard a crash on the floor beside her.

"Oh my god! Dani! Dani?" Santana leaned down and took Dani's head in her hands, shocked at how simply pale she looked. "Dani, wake up."

The MTA agent strolled over, speaking rapidly into a walkie-talkie and brushed in front of Santana before questioning the darker girl. "You know her?"

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"She just…looked pale and I went to grab some water for her and when I turned around, she had fainted."

The tall man nodded and picked Dani's wrist up. "She's got a pulse, but it's faint. I'm going to call an ambulance. Since you're the only person with her, you may be able to ride with her."

Santana nodded. "Good, thank you."

Ten minutes later, Dani had stirred and woken up and Santana had made her drink some of the water, but as soon as she attempted to get some food into the girl's system, Dani had rejected it weakly, claiming her stomach hurt and that she wasn't hungry. However, as soon as an EMT approached the duo, the MTA agent standing awkwardly to the side, they asked Dani if she could walk and then led her up the stairs before sticking an IV in her.

"What is this?" she asked weakly, yet somehow in an accusatory tone.

The EMT looked up at her, his voice deep and sharp. "You need some nutrients in your blood. Your blood sugar is pretty much shot to shit."

Santana pursed her lips, balancing herself as the ambulance lurched forward into the busy Manhattan streets. Slowly, a small possible interpretation of the truth bloomed in front of her.

"NO!" Dani screamed hoarsely, and she sprung forward, a newfound strength overtaking her as she began to claw at the IV in the crook of her elbow.

"We've got a fighter," the EMT called over, keeping one of his hands pressed firmly on Dani's arm. "Sedative, Steve."

The balding man at the front of the ambulance handed the EMT a small white pill that he forced into Dani's unwilling mouth.

Santana was at a loss for words as she watched Dani struggle under the EMT's hand as the calories filtered into her body. She could feel tears prickling in the back of her eyes as she watched the blonde fight against the EMT's restraints. That's why Dani hadn't wanted to eat her pancakes. That's why Dani fainted. That's why Dani had said she was a mess. That's why Dani had said she was full when Santana heard her stomach. The brunette let out a broken dry sob and then buried her head in her hands to hide her tears from the watchful EMT.

"You close with her?"

Santana shook her head, still in her hands. "No. We worked together. Just for a week or so, but her rejecting the IV makes sense. She's a pretty cool person."

The EMT raised his eyes towards Santana. "Has she been exhibiting symptoms of an ED?"

Santana raised her eyebrows in questioning. "ED?"

"Eating disorder," the paramedic sighed.

Santana pressed her lips together. "Oh. Yeah."

"Anorexia nervosa, bulimia, binge/purge…?"

Santana thought back to every single interaction she had had with the blonde. "Anorexia definitely…Maybe bulimia…I don't know for sure, though, honestly."

Dani moaned slightly under the influence of the sedative and Santana looked over at her, suddenly feeling completely guilty for the way she had treated Dani during their time at the diner together. "She kept making moves on me," Santana said, feeling odd at her abrupt confession to the EMT. "And I asked her why she wouldn't follow through, and she said she was a mess."

The ambulance came to a stop and the paramedic checked his watch before looking out the back window. "We're here. Steve, help me get her on the gurney."

As soon as the back doors were opened, Santana stepped out to the side to allow room for a slightly moving Dani to be brought out into the Emergency Room. "Cheryl," the paramedic called to the woman at the desk, and she nodded ahead before motioning Steve over.

"What's going on?"

"Fainted in a subway station. The MTA agent phoned us. Her friend over here is saying that she hasn't known her for long, but the fainting confirms a lot of ED signs."

Cheryl sighed in a melancholy way. "God, society," she accused. "You," she called, beckoning to Santana. "You're her friend?"

Santana nodded carefully, unsure of whether or not she really was Dani's friend. She secretly hoped that she was. "Yes, ma'am. I think so. We've worked together for a little bit now."

Cheryl cleared her throat and pushed a lock of short red hair behind her ear. "Since it's just passing out, you're welcome to go back. Room 108. She's going to get through this. My daughter did."

Santana smiled at the woman's small sentiment. "Thank you, ma'am," she said before heading back to find Dani.

As Santana strolled through the empty hall, she felt eerie at the thought of the girl who she had grown to really like through her work in a hospital bed, under a sedative with an IV tucked into the crook of her elbow.

"Oh, Dani," she breathed when she saw the blonde's slim and pale figure. "You're beautiful."


	5. Chapter 5

Santana spent the night at the hospital. Dani had woken up a few hours ago, but the hospital wanted to keep her under sedation to keep an IV hooked up to her. When she had first awoken, Dani had struggled and Santana felt her heart break as she saws tears running rivulets on her co-worker's face as Dani fought against the doctors. The taller girl didn't know what it was that drew her to the blonde, but she knew that she already wanted to fight and protect her. Dani had a mystery about her that Santana just adored and wanted to fix.

As Santana stirred in the hospital chair, she saw Dani sitting up and reading, her IV strewn to the side.

"Dani?" Santana whispered cautiously and she continued as the blonde girl looked up momentarily for her book. "What…what did you do to your IV?"

Dani pursed her lips. "I don't need it."

Santana opened her mouth and then closed it again before she got up quietly and left the room, leaving Dani to whatever magazine she was perusing through.

The brunette made her way down the hallway and found a nurse before muttering the predicament, afraid of Dani's reaction simultaneously. The nurse just nodded before alerting her colleague and doctor who was filing paperwork behind the desk.

"I just…I don't know why she wants do this," Santana commented wearily, her voice shaky from the crying she had done once Dani had woken up. "She's beautiful."

The doctor – Dr. Harris, Santana noticed as she read his nametag, simply shook his head as he bit his lip before he pored over the clipboard containing Dani's chart. "Mental issues are a hard thing to understand. Now, are you are an immediate family member."

Santana sighed. "No."

"Can you get into contact with a member of her immediate family?"

"Her parents kicked her out when she was younger. As far as I'm concerned, it would be pretty hard to find any immediate family in the time it will take for her to recover." The girl furrowed her brow, mildly confused by her own scientific language. "She's from Groves – in Texas, if that helps you at all." She added quickly.

Dr. Harris nodded and motioned to a nurse. "Mary, get on the phone with 411 and ask for anyone with the last name Harper in Groves, Texas."

The nurse pushed a piece of hair out of face before she muttered a small yes to Dr. Harris.

Santana felt her harsh exterior breaking, just as it had the previous night. "Dr. Harris," she began timidly, her voice shaking a little bit. She had known Dani for a week, but she still had no idea what was going to happen between the two of them. Or why her emotions were running so high when the mention of Dani was made. "Will she be okay?"

"You see…" Dr. Harris narrowed his eyes and peered at Santana through his glasses.

"Santana."

"You see, Santana, the hardest part is to get Dani to recognize that she needs help. We could send her to a rehabilitation center, but because it's not a court order and she's of age, she could easily sign herself out." The doctor wiped his forehead with the palm of his hand. "I really shouldn't be telling you this unless you're immediate family."

Santana bit her lip carefully. "Okay," she nodded, accepting the fact and refusing to bring out Snix on the man who had Dani's life in his hands. "Okay," she repeated.

The pair entered the room only to find Dani still flipping through the hospital-provided magazine. "Oh, hello, Santana," she said brightly, but her eyes were gray with boredom and despair. "Dr. Harris," she greeted, a bit of animosity in her voice when she acknowledged the man next to Santana. "Why are you here," she questioned innocently, and it was in that moment that Santana realized how much she needed help.

"Dr. Harris," the nurse interrupted as she stepped into the room and the man whipped around to see her properly. "I found a couple with the last name Harper in Groves – David and Elizabeth."

Dani screamed, her high-pitched voice breaking the air and Santana felt tears come to her eyes once more. She hadn't realized that the parents had affected Dani as negatively as they did. The blonde was panicking, her eyes wide with tears streaming out and her hands clenched on the blanket covering her up to her knees.

"Thank you, Mary," Dr. Harris whispered before he signaled for her to leave and then he crouched next to Dani's bed and put a hand on her back to which she just flinched and pushed the hand away.

"Don't touch me!"

Santana was terrified. She knew that the girl's parents had kicked her out, but perhaps it was more. "Hey, Dani," she began gently, and she knelt on the other side of the bed, careful not to touch Dani. "Nobody's going to make you see them, okay?" She breathed in and out. "Okay?"

Dani grabbed Santana's hand tightly, much to the taller girl's silent delight as her heart fluttered. "Promise?" she asked brokenly.

Santana eyed Dr. Harris harshly, waiting for a silent confirmation, and then she returned the tight hand grip to Dani and kissed her on the forehead. "Promise."

Dr. Harris looked at the pair sharply before he began speaking again. "Dani, since clearly you don't feel comfortable around your family," he started, and Santana felt the blonde nearly cut off her circulation. "Is there anybody who you would feel comfortable talking to about going to a rehabilitation facility?"

Santana felt her entire body break as she watched the girl across from her bury her head in her knees and begin to sob, her shoulders shaking violently. "I'm fine," she screamed. "I don't need fucking rehab!"

The balding man sighed and ran a head across his head. "Hypothetically, Dani," he treaded carefully. "Who would that be?"

Dani poked her head out of her knees, her eyes incredibly red-rimmed and wet in dread. "Santana," she said simply, her voice cracking.

Santana bit her lip and blushed. "Why, Dani?"

"You're the first one who didn't call me a freak." Dani said quietly, and her shoulders began to shake again in, this time, what was a dry sob, and Santana let the girl fall into her arms as she came to realize just how horrific things had been for Dani.

"And I never will," Santana whispered.

Dani smiled gently and just as it had been the first time she saw her, confidence and self-awareness bursting from her seams, Santana thought that it was one of the most beautiful things she had seen. "What about work?" she asked randomly.

The darker girl laughed at the endearing question and squeezed Dani's shoulder. "Don't worry, I called Gunther. He got Kurt to fill in. He understands. Right now, getting you healthy is both of our priorities."

This caused Dani to turn away from Santana violently. "But I am healthy," she insisted. "I don't know why you think I'm not."

"You need to eat," Santana chided gently, just now noticing that Dr. Harris had left the pair alone to allow Santana some time to talk to Dani. "I know you think you don't, and I know it's hard, but you need to. Dani…" she began timidly. "You don't want to die do you?"

Dani turned around, her eyes like full moons. "I just want to make the pain go away," she said carefully.

"And it will if you eat," Santana tried, only to receive a rough head shake. "Or you're going to be here for a quite a while. Or you can go and learn to eat. Learn that it's okay."

"I just want to be happy," Dani cried, and Santana nodded sadly and rubbed her back.

_"All of these lines across your face," _Santana sang quietly as she changed the lyrics to gear it more towards Dani. _"Tell me the story of who you are. So many stories of where you've been, and how you got to where you are. But these stories don't mean anything when you've got no one to tell them to. It's true. I was made for you." _


	6. Chapter 6

As Santana sung to her, Dani felt her eyes grow drowsy as Santana's hands wrapped themselves around her hair, calming her. Eventually, she fell asleep and was breathing evenly and Dr. Harris had managed to place the IV back into her arm while Santana was singing, but because of the beautiful distraction, she had let him and she was asleep before she could complain.

The darker girl was smiling at Dani's bedside, already formulating how she was going to ask Dani out once she was okay. Santana knew, in the back of her head, that Dani would never be truly okay, but she hoped to be the one to help save her. She didn't know why. They had met only a bit more than a week ago, but already Santana thought she was the most beautiful thing she had ever met. She picked up Dani's limp hand and began to trace her fingers around it and she made her way up to the crook of Dani's elbow until she realized what she had so easily overlooked just seconds ago.

Santana let out a choked and dry sob suddenly and Dani's eyes flew open widely, full of concern for Santana and despite what she'd just witnessed, the concern in her eyes made Santana's heart feel like it was full of helium. Dani's mouth was in an "o" as if she was trying to decide whether or not to talk as Santana simply looked at her brokenly with her index finger against her pulse.

"Please…" Dani began quietly before she hung her head opposite of Santana, her hair sheltering her head like a steel wall, and Santana was a loss for words.

The scars were anything but inconspicuous, and Santana knew she had to say something to Dani, but she was too busy deciding whether or not to tell Dr. Harris. "Dani," she said softly. "Honey, why?"

Dani simply shook her head and when she opened her mouth, Santana knew she was crying and she realized just how terrifying this must be for her. "Don't tell anyone," she cried out as her breath hitched and her voice cracked. "Everybody gets a secret. I just want mine."

Despite how concerned she was, Santana simply shook her head and walked around the bed to lift Dani's head to make eye contact with her. "I'm not going to tell anyone," she whispered, the incessant beeping of a machine distantly in the background. "But you need help."

The shorter girl shook her head violently, and that was the moment when Santana discovered how false the front she put up at the diner was. _"I'm just like that, Santana." _or _"You don't want to date me. I'm a mess." _Santana's heart broke for what seemed like the thousandth time in that small amount of time. Dani just hated herself.

Santana knew that she couldn't save Dani, but she was going to help as much as Dani would let her. "Hey, baby girl," Santana said tentatively. "What if you didn't go to rehab?" The thought had just dawned on Santana, and frankly, at this point, she didn't give a flying fuck what Kurt and Rachel what thought.

Dani nodded quickly, her eyes bloodshot, but Santana wasn't done yet. "What if you come live with me and Rachel and Kurt? We can help you. We're not professionals, but we'd do our best."

Santana couldn't remember the last time in the week they had known each other if she had ever seen a bigger smile grace Dani's face. "If…if the doctor lets you," she nodded, more enthusiastic than Santana could ever remember. "Santana," she said carefully, her voice wavering. "C-can I kiss you?"

The taller girl smiled directly back at Dani and let a tear she had been keeping at bay out. She nodded, completely enthused, and Dani reached forward and captured Santana's lips in her own in a short, chaste kiss.

"I don't know what it is…" The blonde trailed off.

Santana shrugged. "I don't either. But I'm glad you feel it too."

Dani kissed her gently again and Santana could taste the salt on both of their lips and they wrapped their hands in each other's hair just as Dr. Harris stood in the door frame and cleared his throat.

"Um, sorry, ladies," he interjected, and Santana giggled at Dani. "But, I need to keep talking to Dani about her rehabilitation options."

Santana raised an eyebrow. "Dr. Harris?"

The balding man looked up from his clipboard and eyed Santana warily.

"I've, um, given Dani the option, if she wants, to come live with me and my two roommates. I would gladly monitor her and help pay for mental health appointments, and such. She seems like she wants to?" Santana stated and received a nod of approval from Dani.

Dr. Harris simply sighed and marked something sloppily down on his clipboard. "We have a mental health professional, Dr. May Longleaf, if you would like to bring her back every week for an appointment both with her and with me to get her vitals and whatnot."

Santana's eyes widened at how easy the process had been and Dani grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly, almost like a security blanket. "Thank you, Dr. Harris!" she said enthusiastically.

"Now," he droned on. "I will expect improved vitals every time you come Dani, and Dr. Longleaf will report to me how you're doing mentally."

Both of the girls nodded identically as if a mirror was set between them.

"I'll have Mary send the discharge papers over and you'll receive a bill in a few weeks."

Dani sucked her breath in sharply in nervousness as Dr. Harris left the room. "San, that bill's going to be fucking expensive."

Santana took her chance and pressed a kiss to Dani's forehead. "Shh…we'll figure something out. I'm going to help you. Kurt and Rachel can help you. It'll be okay."

Mary walked into the room slowly and placed the papers on Dani's bed before she removed the IV, the look on her face surprised when she realized it was still in. "Just bring them to the front desk when you're done. Your clothes are in that cabinet," she gestured to the left. "Nobody likes those hospital gowns. They're like wind tunnels."

Santana smiled at Dani when she realized how eager Dani was, already poring over the paperwork intensely. She observed Dani carefully and fell quietly in love with the way she was left-handed and her hand got ink smudged on it while she wrote and sometimes outlined her scars ever-so-slightly. She quietly fell in love with her tattoo of a flock of birds and the way it was obvious that she dyed her roots so carefully.

"What's your address, San?"

Santana's heart fluttered at the simple question and she reeled off the string of numbers and words for Dani as the sitting girl wrote them down. Her thumb was precariously close to the page and it shook and dropped and got ink smudged on it and Santana picked her hand up and smeared Dani's hand onto the blonde's face to create a black nose.

"Hey! Don't take advantage of my left-handedness!" Dani shrieked.

Santana laughed and kissed Dani's nose. "It's adorable."

As she filled out the last of the forms, both girls stood up and exited the room, only to distribute the forms to some woman named Carol at the front desk, Dani signing while Santana waiting on the couch as she texted Rachel and Kurt about their new roommate.

_Santana: I'm bringing Dani (from the Spotlight – you know her) back to live with us. She's going through some personal issues right now and needs some care. _

_ Kurt: Wait, Santana, what the hell? You can't just spring this on us!_

_ Rachel: Well, I for one, think it'll be a good thing for Santana to finally care about something. As long as she pays her way, I have no problem with it. She's a nice girl. _

_ Kurt: Ugh, Santana, you owe me major. _

_ Santana: Just give her a chance, Kurt. _

Dani strode over the Santana and pulled her up by her hand didn't let go as she ran her thumb over Santana's palm as they walked. They left the hospital and headed for the subway, hand-in-hand.


End file.
